WHO AM I?
I was raised in the church, and my grandpa was my pastor. He would tell me all the time that God loves you for who you are, but I couldn’t see it. While my grandpa was saying God loves you on Sunday, I would be bullied for my learning disability the rest of the week. I could not understand why God would allow me to suffer if He loved me. I continued with this mindset into high school, and that caused me to look for love in other areas of my life. I looked for it in drugs and alcohol, in sex and relationships, in grades, and in cross country and track. I looked for love everywhere, but I never felt it. I ended up throwing away relationships, throwing away passions, and almost throwing away college. I was halfway through my second semester of senior year with failing grades before a teacher talked to me and told me I needed to get my grades up or I would not be going to UCSD. I listened, got them up, and went to UCSD. I was hoping for a fresh start, but it wasn’t. I continued my drug usage and drinking. I thought how could I change? Soon after, I was connected to a man named Josiah who worked with Cru because my best friend's sister also went to UCSD and was involved with Cru. When I say I was connected, I really mean that he messaged me, but I never messaged him back. He messaged me for 8 weeks until I finally responded and decided to meet with him. He asked me many questions, but the one that stuck with me the most was: what is stopping you from changing? Later in the year, during the winter quarter of UCSD, I hit the lowest I had ever been, I was drinking, using drugs, and I cheated on my girlfriend at the time. I did not know what to do, so I decided to go to a Cru Bible study. With my luck, when I got there, it was a confession night. We were talking about the importance of confession, and everyone was given the chance to confess their sins. I did not because I was scared. Then, I looked down at the verse they had given me. It was Psalm 32:3 “For as I kept silent my bones wasted away from my groaning all day long.” Reading that verse felt like I was getting stabbed in the heart. I wanted to share, but when I tried to speak, my voice fell silent from the fear of being judged. I read that verse 7 times, and every time that pain got worse and worse until I was on the verge of tears. Finally, Josiah, who connected with me earlier in the year, asked if I had something to say because he could see the emotions in my eyes. And I did. I finally confessed what was going on, and I felt the release of pain and the weight come off my shoulders. And in that moment, I understood that God loves me for who I am. His love is unchanging and unconditional, and with no chance of being rejected, I walked out of that night a changed man, recommitting my life to Jesus. I eventually started leading Bible studies and getting more involved. After graduating, I started working for Cru as an intern at UCSD and the community colleges so that I can be there for other people just like Josiah was there for me and show them that God loves them. I am currently working for Cru as Full-Time staff in our South Los Angeles team in California. My hope is to see the Lord work through me as I continue to play a part in the Great Commission by bringing lost students to Jesus and helping them grow to be lifelong disciples of Jesus.
Our Vision
Our vision is to have movements everywhere so that everyone knows someone who truly follows Jesus. I believe the college campus is one of the biggest battle grounds in achieving this. "Why?" you may ask. Well to answer that, let me start with a question. When you think of colleges in the United States, what is a word that comes to your mind when you think of the environment students live in? I think of the word competition. Students look at themselves thinking, I made it, or I am the best because I made it into this hard school. When they are in college, they put their time and effort into things they think will pay off. I mean how can you blame them? We teach our kids that you need to get that well-paying job, you need to be the best at what you do, and so much more. This leads kids to go to college thinking that they need to make it no matter what the cost, so they think why spend time on a thing that will not lead me to success?
A lot of students do not see following Jesus as something that will make them successful, so they end up pushing faith to the side and try going their own way. They do not view Jesus as "worth it" because they are told by friends and professors, daily that God is not real and to follow their own path. Students end up choosing their own path, the path of the world. This mindset has caused many students to end up unhappy, dealing with mental health issues, and so many other problems. Just this year suicide rates have sky rocked compared to years before. These students need God in their lives and to see that the way of the world leads to death and the way of Jesus ends in eternal life.
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To accomplish our vision, we really need to tackle this problem on campuses because if we do, we may finally be able to say these words: that everyone knows someone who truly follows Jesus. If we accomplish this on campuses, we will win the battle in areas where so many different cultures are present, so many different languages are spoken and so many different opinions are heard.
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So how do we plan to do this? Our hope is that Cru is seen as an organization where the Gospel captures hearts, transforms lives, and launches men and women into a lifelong mission with Jesus. To do this, we will continue to hold three core values. The first one is winning people for Jesus. We are committed to getting the gospel to every student. We do this through evangelism, outreaches, surveying, socials, etc. Students are able to have amazing conversations and break out of their Christians spheres with the hopes of reaching people for Jesus and creating genuine friendships that have a dialog about God. The next core value is building up life changing communities. We do this through bible studies, bonfires, worship nights, etc. During these times and events, it was amazing to see the students praising God through such hard times and seeing them grow in their understanding of who God is. The last core value is that we are committed to sending students to live life on mission. This is done by us providing short term or long-term missions for students so that they feel prepared to share the gospel in whatever career they choose. We firmly believe that with this at heart, we will be able to accomplish our vision.
